Dad and I moved from Washington D.C. to Idaho in the summer I turned fourteen, and I started high school that fall. I had lived in D.C. all my life and wasn’t too happy about moving, but Mom had died the year before, Dad’s promotion in the Department of Energy was contingent on the transfer, and the street violence and racial unrest that were creeping into the capital city made it less appealing to live there.
It was quite a culture shock: I had never been out of D.C. except on short vacations to other cities, and I simply couldn’t imagine that there was this much undeveloped land anywhere. Also, my old school had been predominately black and I fit right in, but this school, prior to my arrival, was all white. Negros posted to and living at the nuclear facility came into town, but I was the only black kid in the high school and I felt like a leper. Most of the kids treated me all right or just ignored me, but I still had the N-bomb hurled at me now and then.
Also, there was me. My nuts had been down for almost two years and I had the same urges that all fourteen year old boys have. I’d had a girl friend in the eighth grade back in D.C., and although I was still a virgin I knew the passion of kissing and the thrill of exploring hands and the insistence of an erection and the need to jack off afterwards lest my balls explode. I could barely wait until high school, when I could apply some of what I’d learned, but instead I had been plunked down in the middle of NeoNaziLand.
The girls here acted friendly enough but I got the feeling that it was either the mystique of a black guy or to show everyone that they weren’t prejudiced, kind of a backlash for the shit going on down South. I did get as far as going to the Dairy Queen and sharing a booth seat and a little bit of footsy and hand holding with Anne, but that was it.
“Hey nigger,” The biggest of the four seniors said. My route home was a shortcut behind an empty warehouse, and they had apparently been waiting for me.
“You been sniffing around my sister?” I didn’t know any of the four guys, but I knew Anne didn’t have a brother. D.C. was a tough town, and I’d learned a little about diplomacy.
“I talk to Anne now and then,” I answered. “Is she your sister?”
“Don’t matter who’s sister she is. You don’t go touching her. Any nigger that touches a white girl should have his nuts cut off.”
“You know what Dad told me what they used to do to any nigger they catch messing with white girls?” Another boy spoke up with an accent that was pure Georgia redneck. “They brick him.”
“What’s that?” Anne’s self-appointed brother asked.
They hold him down, tie a shoelace around his nuts, pull up on it, take two bricks, and wham!” He said clapping his outstretched hands together. “No more messing with white girls, or black bitches either.”
“We ain’t got no bricks,” one of the other two seniors pointed out.
“Rocks would work just about as well.” The voice was from behind me; they had me surrounded.
“Let’s do it!”
“NO!” I screamed, and bolted. No one around could hear me, providing they even cared.
A few minutes later I was pinned to the ground, pants and skivvies down around my ankles.
“Jeez, what a hose!” One of the guys said. “He’s got you beat all to hell, Lew.” I was normal by black kid standards, which these guys knew nothing about.
“It’ll shrink up after we nut him,” someone said. “He won’t go stretching anyone, that’s for sure.”
“Give me his shoelace. Vance, go find some rocks.”
Although I tried to turn and deflect Lew’s hand, within seconds I felt it close around my balls, and then the awful pressure of a hard squeeze as my balls were forced away from my groin. I had taken and given pubescent nut grabs, but none had came with malice or threat of castration. “Wrap it around twice and tie it tight,” he ordered.
“Hey Lew, there’s no real rocks around here, just some little gravel.” Vance had returned empty handed.
“Then we’ll just have to do it the old fashioned way,” Lew said, extracting a jack knife from his pocket. “Better anyway. No chance of ‘em healing and regrowing.”
The shoelace had compressed my balls into a lump the size of a doorknob, and as I kicked and bucked and screamed like a mashed cat, Lew pushed the point of the knife into the compressed skin at the bottom of my ball sack, turned it sideways, and pulled, etching a deep, inch long scratch into the thin skin. “That ought to teach him,” Lew said, folding the knife and returning it to his pocket. “You ever touch another white girl, nigger, and I’ll finish the job. Hey, who farted?”
It wasn’t a fart; they had literally scared the shit out of me..
I sat there in my own shit, trying to pick the knot out of the shoelace to free my balls.
“Hey nigger.” I looked up just in time to see that Lew and Vance both had their dicks out, and before I could react both of their piss streams hit me in the face.
I stripped down in the garage and put my soiled clothes in the washer, then took a long hot shower to try and wash the stink and the shame from my body.
I was too scared and ashamed to admit to Dad what had happened, but I did tell him that I’d be a lot happier boarding with an aunt and finishing high school in D.C., but he wouldn’t hear of it.
“Be a man and make the best of it, Son,” he said. “Nobody ever has it easy.” No black ever has it easy is what he meant.
Before bed, I rummaged around and found the cheap switchblade knife that I had won from another kid in D.C. on a some kind of bet or dare. It was illegal in D.C. and probably here too, but I packed it everywhere I went for the next four years and swore to myself that the next guy that threatened me or my manhood was going to bleed.
A week later Lew blew through a stop sign and wedged his VW under a semi. The school declared a day of mourning for the star athlete, and cutting classes was allowed so classmates could attend the services. I paid my respects by pissing on his grave every night for the next year, hoping against hope that it would seep down six feet and find a crack in his coffin and slowly drip into his open mouth.
Vance’s luck ran out a week after he graduated in June. His summer employment was working on a haying crew, and on his second day on the job he was run over by the tractor he was supposed to be driving. Larry and Denny, the two seniors who had held me down for Lew and Vance, both went in the Army and settled elsewhere afterwards, and I never saw either again, but I hope like hell that they lost sleep waiting for my revenge.
I remained dateless all through high school, so it was to a prowling cougar twice my age that I finally lost my virginity. We sneaked around for a month until she finally dumped me for another high school junior.
I went to college in the East and Dad’s next promotion took him back to D.C., and I have never been back nor do I ever plan on returning to Idaho. There are some nice places there, but not where I lived.
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